Insights

I don't know how the days flew by without me blogging. I just now realized that I had not posted since Sunday. I had a good day on Monday and completed my run. I did increase the time and it was not so bad. I am looking forward to another run today.

On Monday night I made our first dinner from the Hungry Girl cookbook. I decided to make something easy to ease my hubby into this whole healthy eating thing. I made the lean bean-n-cheese enchiladas and they were great. My husband said he had to eat crow because he had been talking crap about how he thought they would be nasty. He was very surprised to find they were good and said nobody would have even known they were a low-fat enchilada.

Tuesday I made a egg beaters wrap along with spinach, tomato, and feta cheese. Then for dinner I made boneless chicken wings (they were chicken breast cut into cubes and then breaded with Fiber One and get this Low-fat BBQ Pringles). I also made a side of mashed potatoes that also had cauliflower and garlic in them. Then threw in a side of steamed veggies. So far I am really liking the recipes and they are all super easy.



So last night my husband watched The Biggest Loser with me and I think he really did get inspired. Why do I say that, well he started exercising during the last part of the show. As soon as it was over I went and grabbed my weights and joined him. I showed him the exercises I normally do and we did my entire routine together. He was a sweaty mess and had to jump right in the shower but said he did feel good. He asked to go with me tonight when I go for my run. I am super happy that he is joining in on the exercising. I had told him from now on as far as our eating I goes, I am making the meals and he can either it or make something for himself. He said to just make the food but not tell him what is in it. Works for me!

I have been catching up on blogs this morning. I get so inspired and learn a lot just from reading the journeys of others. One thing that I am always reading is how hard losing weight is. I do agree that it is hard, because if it wasn't then why has it taken so long for me to do it? However, I am starting to wonder if something is wrong with me or if I am going to suddenly crash or something because right now it is not seeming hard at all. I am not really having problems staying on track and I have been exercising religiously. Like I said the other day, I have had a few cravings but nothing really hard to ignore. I have been offered many tempting foods but have not even batted an eye at them or even wanted them at all. Honestly, I am not trying to brag or anything like that, but it has just been really easy for me. As I read other people struggling and not being able to stay on track, I sometimes feel guilty about how I have not been having those problems. Shouldn't this be so much harder? Or is it hard but I am just fooling myself somehow? I know that I was never an emotional eater. In fact I really didn't eat all that much. At least no more than a normal person would eat. The amount of food that I ate was not the problem, it was the type of food that I ate. For many years I ate all the time but I had stopped a lot of that in the past year. But I was still eating bad. I would eat things like hot pockets, burritos, microwaveable cheeseburgers, hamburger helper, frozen pizza, etc. I didn't eat a whole lot in one sitting but it was still high calorie, processed crap. I was just so lazy when it came to fixing anything to eat. There were times I would be too lazy to even fix a sandwich. But now that I have been eating better, more veggies and fruit, lean meats, more fish, nothing fried, well I find that I just don't want that old crap food anymore.

I might be lucky because I am not one who really craves many sweets. I will want something every now and then but I am not much of a sweets person. Reese's peanut butter cups, cheesecake, and my parent's banana pudding are about all that I eat of sweet stuff. Now my husband on the other hand LOVES sweets. Both he and my mom have a constant sweet tooth. I am so very thankful that I do not have those cravings. I like sour or salty things more and usually a pickle will take care of that.


I think besides the type of high caloric food that I ate, the biggest reason I was so fat was that I was totally and utterly lazy. I did not move much at all and got zero exercise. I have now been exercising regularly since January and it has become a habit. I now crave exercising and how good it makes me feel. I want to have that feeling and hate it if I ever miss a day. Not because I feel guilty but because I miss the feeling. I love running and the high that I get from it. I can see how someone can become addicted to exercise. It is like any other addiction out there but it is just one that is looked at more favorably than other addictions. But I am sure one can take exercise too far, just like any thing else out there.

I have always known that I am a very controlling person. I absolutely have to be the one in control or I just can't stand it. I am now seeing how I was the one in control of my weight and health all along and could have done something a long time ago. But for some reason being fat worked for me. Yes it was an inconvenience, made life so much harder, continually shattered my self-esteem, and in general just feed into my lazy lifestyle but in the end it all worked for me. It had to or I would not have stayed that way for so long. I think that I like to play the victim. I want to be the center of attention but I don't like to ask for the attention out right. I try to be very humble and not seem conceited or full of myself because I feel that would be looked down upon. That in turn made me put myself down and not relish in my accomplishments and be ashamed of achieving anything. I know totally sick and it does not even make much sense but I am starting to see why I stayed over 250 pounds for so long. I did not have to work hard at staying fat, it came very easy. Being fat allowed me to continue to be lazy but still get attention. I was included in a group, an obese and unhealthy group, but I belonged and had others to identify with. Back when I was in school I can remember never really feeling like I belonged. I had a lot of friends and was in a tight group but I never felt like I should have been there. I was in all honors classes throughout my education and we were all very close because we were all in the same classes together year after year. I knew that I was smart but I still did not feel like I was supposed to be there. Then in high school many of my friend were in band and I had dropped out of band after one year (6th grade) because I was too lazy to ever practice. My other best friend joined the flag corp and so she traveled with the band to all the football games and got to sit with them, etc. Our other friends who were not in band were either on the drill or in some other clique. I have often wondered if things would have been different if I would have stayed in band. At my high school it was not "nerdy" or "uncool" to be in band. A lot of the popular kids were in band so it was not looked down on.

I don't know because I did get into journalism and was on the yearbook and had gotten accepted to be in the student trainer program. The trainers were the ones who would tape up the athlete's prior to a game and would be on the sidelines in case anyone got hurt or needed anything. But then during my sophomore year I was getting my books out of the backseat of my car and another student came speeding through the parking lot and hit me. My car and I were thrown many feet and then the other car ended up pinning my leg in its bumper. I ended up having 8 surgeries on my leg and missed almost the entire spring semester of that year. When I went back to school at the beginning of my junior year I had decided that I did not want to be there. I ended up getting my GED the minute I turned 17 and then got a job for a year and then started my college education (which to this day I have not completed and I am now 32 years old). So, I was this great honors student who had so much potential but who dropped out of high school. I was bored, thought I wanted to be a nurse and figured I could go on to college anyway so who cared if I got an actual diploma or not. That decision has haunted me to this day. Part of me does not regret the decision because I am generally happy with who I have become, but I still wonder how my life could have been different. I missed prom and all of the fun senior year traditions. I have yet to ever walk across a stage to get a diploma. But, I will be getting my associate's degree next fall so that will be exciting.

I am sorry this post has gotten so very long. I started writing and all of this just came out. I am bore you but it does help me to just write it all down. Before today it never really clicked that I like to play a victim. But I am starting to see a pattern in my life and I do think it started when I got hit by that car. Now I did already have weight issues so that is not the entire reason but I do think it was a large part of what feed my obesity.

Cravings

Dinner was very yummy. I had grilled chicken, grilled corn-on-the-cob, and grilled squash and zucchini. It took forever for the all the food to be done and about an hour or so before I ate my dinner I ended up cheating and eating a bratwurst. I didn't have it on a bun or anything, just plain and by itself. I haven't hardly eaten a thing today so I figured it would be ok.

But then I started really craving some root beer. Jeremiah had bought some and I saw them in the kitchen. I decided to pop one open but only had 2 drinks from the can and then put it down and was fine. I am really proud of that I could stop and the craving was over then.

On Friday night I all of a sudden, out of the blue, started craving some chicken fried steak and gravy. I did not give into that craving and it went away, but boy was it a strong sensation/emotion when the craving hit. I have no idea where it came from or what triggered it because it happened when we were driving to get my step-son and we were out in the boonies with nothing around. I didn't see a commercial, or see a restaurant to set me off, it just happened.

The only other craving that I have really had was about 2 weeks ago and I just really wanted something salty. I wanted some popcorn but there was none in the house. I ended up having a few tortilla chips with a little cheese on them. I only had a few and then felt better. I am learning to not totally deprive myself, to go ahead and give in a little, just not go crazy. So, far that is working and I don't feel like I am giving up much so I think this will continue to work.

Weekend Update

So far so good this weekend. On Friday I went to the park and had my 3rd run for the week. Jeremiah and his uncle went with me but they walked. I was going to meet them as soon as I was done with my run but then I could not find them. I ended up walking the entire trail again, which is 1.5 miles and even then walked a little more. By the time I found them I was really exhausted and light headed because it was pretty warm out. We came home and I took one of the coldest showers I have ever taken and it felt so good.

This weekend was our weekend to have my step-son, so Friday night we headed to go get him. After that we decided to go out to eat at Jalapeno Tree. I decided I was going to splurge a little because so far I really have not done that at all. I ate some chips and salsa and then ordered the vegetarian quesadillas but added shrimp. The dinner came with 4 quesadillas, rice, beans (I got charro instead of refried), and guacamole and sour cream. I ate 2 of the quesadillas, maybe 2 bites of the rice, a few bites of beans and none of the guacamole or sour cream. Honestly the quesadillas were so good I just didn't want anything else on them. In the end I think I did pretty good. I boxed up the rest of the food and took it home and gave it to Jeremiah's uncle. I had had enough and got my enjoyment out of it.

On Saturday we went over to my parent's house and grilled out. Jeremiah and my step-son had steaks, baked potatoes, and baked beans. The rest of us had fajitas. Jeremiah had had fajitas the night before when we ate out so he didn't want them again. We grilled chicken, another steak, bell peppers, onions, mushrooms and then for a side I grilled squash and zucchini. I made my fajitas on corn tortillas with just a little bit of reduced fat cheese and some green salsa. They were delicious.

After we grilled out my sister and my 2 nephews went with us to the park. The kids had a blast playing. We all ended up going to explore a little in the creek and by then it was starting to get dark so we headed home to roast marshmallows. My parent's have a fire pit and the kids roasted and toasted away. I didn't eat any because at this point my stomach was bothering me and I think it was due to all the eating of non-tv dinners! I feel better today so who knows, maybe I just had a little bug or something.

Today Jeremiah is about to grill out again at his parent's house. He is a grilling fool during the spring/summer. He absolutely loves to grill out and will do so at any chance he gets. He just left for the store and is planning to get some chicken and some fresh ears of corn plus who knows what.on I still have some fresh squash and more zucchini left over that I didn't grill yesterday. I am going to walk around the land here while he grills. There are 20 acres here so I have plenty of room to go out and walk!

Tomorrow is another run day and I will be increasing my run time to 45 seconds of jogging and then 90 seconds walking. After this week I will begin the true C25K with 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking. I am going to do two weeks of that and then do two weeks of the C25K week 2 which is 90 seconds of jogging and 2 min of walking. I will go from there onto two weeks of week 3 and two weeks of doing the week 4. I will then do one week of week 5 because the next week I will be on vacation. We are supposed to be going to Corpus Christie so I know I will get some exercise there and hope to do some running on the beach. When I get back it will be two weeks of week 6, one week of week 7, then two weeks of week 8. Next it will be the final week of week 9. The race will be at the end of the next week. Sheesh, it just barely works out.

It feels good to have a plan and have it all worked out. I am going to start running in the mornings as it gets hotter. I am also about to buy a treadmill but as my father-in-law pointed out, the race is on Aug.28 and will be HOT, so I need to still train outside as well so I just use to the heat. I got a new workout outfit, including shorts, a shirt that has dri-weave technology, and even a very much needed sports bra. I still need some new shoes because I have been jogging in my Curves toning sneakers but you really are not supposed to run in them. I haven't had any problems at all but I am just really jogging a little right now and not running the entire time. I am going to invest in some good running shoes soon.

Here's to another awesome week, full of good eating and healthy runs! (Does saying I hope have runs sound too much like saying I hope I get the runs? (LOL, sorry my mind sometimes wanders to the dirty side.)

Hungry Girl - Why I am just now finding this?

I just bought my first Hungry Girl book. I got the 200 under 200 cookbook and I love it. All recipes are under 200 calories and if you follow WW you can go to the book's site to get the points for each mean as well as see pictures of every recipe.

I am already so in love with this book. What I like the most is that a lot of the recipes use stuff that I already have, it just puts ingredients together that I never would have thought of doing on my own.

After reading through many blogs out there I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with me in regards to my unoriginal food choices. Well now I do not have to worry about that anymore. However, if you are someone who does like to use artificial sweetener then this book is not for you. It also uses Fiber One cereal for many of the breading/crusts but luckily I am already a huge Fiber One fan.

I got the book on my Kindle and normally I would never ever get a cookbook on there but since I knew the pictures were on the website anyway I went ahead and got it. I saved almost $4 and got it instantly so I am pleased as punch. I can tell that I am going to end up buying more of her books. I also signed up for her daily newsletter with tips, you can sign up here.

I do not know why I always seem to be one of the last people to hear about something but this was perfect timing since I am now so gung-ho on my new healthier lifestyle.

I also found 2 other good websites. Again if you are following WW here is a good site that allocates points for various food.

This site also gives you calories and points for food at many popular restaurants. Do not be turned off by all of the links, just find the name of the restaurant you want and click and you will be fine.

I am personally not following WW but I still pretty much know if I was what points that I would be allowed and can tell what I should and should not eat. I am still counting my calories and since the point system is very similar I find that those sites listed above help me as well.

Now all I have to do is sit down and figure out what all I want to fix from my new cookbook for next week. Then I get to go out for a fun filled grocery shopping adventure.

Oh, that just reminded me of something. One of the products that Hungry Girl loves are called Vitalicious muffin tops. I had seen these mentioned on a few other blogs but honestly had no idea what they were. You can order them for their website, or you can search for stores in your area that sell them. The closest to me is Krogers. Now they are pretty pricey but the mixes look like a good way to go and might save a little cash. I have not tried any yet and might see if Krogers has some in stock but if not I am going to have to hold off since I have splurged on books this week.

I also bought The Biggest Loser's Calorie Counter book. That one I don't have yet because it is being shipped from Amazon.

What an awesome Green Giveaway!

Now this is one cool giveaway http://www.fashionmeetsfood.com/2010/04/green-is-new-pink.html. I love bamboo and really want those utensils. Not to mention this is one of the best blogs out there. New posts pop up all day and I get to see stuff that I would never find anywhere else. I highly suggest you follow.

Weighty Issues

I am very happy to report that again yesterday I completed my C25K run. The first couple of intervals almost seemed to be a little harder than the first time but maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me because the run did seem to go by very quickly. I am not going to stop but I have to admit that I am scared. I am scared if I will really ever get to the point that I can run non-stop. I know I just started but it is still a thought that haunts me. I just wonder if I will ever get to the point that it is not so hard and if I can really complete an entire 5K. But then again I can remember about a year or so ago that I could not even walk the 1.5miles around the park so I know that I have made progress. Today I don't run but I am planning to make 2 trips around the park for a total of 3 miles. I am ready to not have to look at the timer for my interval times and to just get to enjoy my ipod.

This morning I have been catching up on the blogs that I follow and I came across this http://ashiebee.blogspot.com/2010/04/stupid-scale.html entry. Anyway, I could not believe it when I read this because it sounded so much like me. Right now I do not have a scale because the one I originally had quit working. I have been debating on buying a new one but after reading that blog it reminded me how I was a slave to the scale. I do like seeing my progress in numbers but then again it has been really nice not putting that pressure on myself. I know that I am losing because my clothes keep getting bigger and I can see it in the mirror. When I had a scale I would tell myself that I would only weigh in once a week but then every single day I would end up hopping on that damn thing. If there was a lose I would be giddy but god help me if there was no change or worse yet a gain. I would then get so depressed. Maybe that is one reason I am doing better this time around. Plus the 5K gives me another goal to work on besides my magical number of 150.

I also wanted to talk today a little about something that came up when I was having a conversation the other day with my mom and sister. We had been watching Dr. Phil and it was about children who are obese. I started talking about how I was never really ever picked on by other kids. I can remember maybe on or 2 times total in all of the years of being fat that anyone ever said anything to my face about it. Well my sister then told me that she is the one who had to hear all of the jokes and comments about me. She said that she always had to stand up for me and that is something she had been dealing with in her counseling. I always knew that people did make snide remarks and I know that she had to hear a lot of it but coming from my little sister that really hurt. It hurt because I want to protect her and I don't want her having to protect me and I had never really thought about how my weight effects those around me. My little sister has always been thin and she was the "pretty one" while I was the "smart one". I knew that she had issues growing up thinking that she was dumb. She was never dumb and in fact she is the one out of the two of us that graduated from high school and who just last year got her bachelor's degree first. I am so very proud of her and all that she has accomplished. But I digress, and the reason I brought this up is because I don't think that we all see what our weight and/or health problems do to those we love. Really that goes for just about anything and not just weight. So often I have thought it is my life and I can do whatever I want, but in the long run what I do does effect those around me because they love me and are always there to help pick up the pieces if I do make a bad decision.

And yes you all read that right earlier, I honestly was not ever really made fun of for my weight. I also never felt like walking up the stairs was a challenge, I have never felt like people out in public were staring at me, I never felt discriminated against, I still had people open doors for me, I still had people look me in the eyes and be nice to me, and I still got lots of compliments. Now I am not saying at all that being fat has been easy, because it sure has. During my 20's I dated but most of the time went I went out the clubs with my friends I was never hit on and rarely ever got asked to dance. In school I never did date anyone that I went to school with. I ended up hanging out with a "bad" crowd and for many years dated a guys that were both older than me and who had dropped out of school. After that the couple of relationships that I had were with guys that really were more just my best friend with "benefits". I was never technically their girlfriend, yet we were together all the time and they did not date anyone else and everyone knew that we were together, yet I was not their girlfriend. I was told so many times that it had nothing to do with my weight but yes it did. I was also always the one with the pretty face. I know that my weight also held me back from many experiences just because I was self conscious. Back in 8th grade every girl who wanted to be a cheerleader was allowed to be one. You did not have to try out or anything all you had to do was sign up. I went to the meeting and was going to cheer along with my friends but then came the time to get our uniforms. The company where they got the uniforms did not make one in my size. My mother offered to make one for me but I just said forget it and did not end up a cheerleader. I wanted to take Karate but was too scared to have to face a class. I still have that problem now. I have a real social phobia to this day.

I am hoping it all gets better as I start feeling better about myself. When I have been out running at the park there is a section of the trail that goes right by the street where the cars can see you running. I have had a few thoughts when I am running that section where I am worried about people watching me, but each time I have pushed the thought out of my head. I am not going to give myself any excuses anymore and I am going to go out there and life my life like I want to do because I deserve it. I really don't care what anyone thinks about me so I don't know why I let those thoughts get to me. I guess because somewhere deep down I do care what people think. I don't want to care, but I do. I just have to keep going and tell myself that I don't care so that eventually it will be the truth.

I am officially a runner

Well guys and gals I did it, this afternoon I went and ran. The first week of C25K you are supposed to run for 60 seconds and then walk for 90 seconds. The first 60 second run I made it but barely. The rest of the run I had to take it a little shorter. I ended up running for 30 seconds followed by 90 seconds of walking. I was not going to give up and figured that starting there was better than nothing. I figure next week I can move to running for 40 seconds and keep increasing from there. At first I kind of felt a little bad but then I asked myself what the hell are you upset about? I had gotten up and actually ran. I completed the entire trail which is 1.5 miles and it took me 23 minutes and that is including the 5 minute warm-up walking.

I have until August 28th to train so I am thinking that taking it a little slower will be ok and that I will get there eventually so even if I have a longer journey that is alright. I mean a few months ago I was not even walking a mile, much lone running anything at all. I think that I put a lot of pressure on myself and this time I am just going to rejoice in my new active lifestyle and healthy eating and know that I am making positive changes and that is what matters.

I went by my parent's house after my run. My Dad happened to be there and commented that he sees I just went for a walk. I told him no that I went for a run and the look on his face was priceless. I know that I shocked him. He said that is great and I told him about the 5K and we talked about running. He was telling me how once you start running most people just fall in love with it and seem to really get into it. He was very supportive and I can tell he is very happy just seeing me up and at 'em instead of just laying around all the time.

My sister got home a little while later and I was telling her about my run too. Turns out that Old Navy, where she works, is having a family 5K walk in May for their employees and family members. She said she had not signed up but that now she will. I told her definitely that I know I can walk it for sure. She is going to take the stroller and bring my nephews and my mom said that she and my dad will go as well. When I told Jeremiah about it he said of course to count him in as well. It really feels good to be influencing the family to join in and get active as well. Last Friday Jeremiah, my sister, my 2 nephews, my mom and I all went to the Dallas Zoo for the afternoon. We walked all over the place and had a lot of fun. I can remember a time that just walking that place would kill me but I have stayed even longer if the zoo would not have been closing.

My mom said that she can not wait to see my progress and that it is going to be cool to track it and see how strong I get. I like having another focus besides just the weight. Because really for me this has always been about feeling better and having more energy. Sure, I want to look better and be able to buy "regular" clothes but my husband loves me the way that I am now and he always makes me feel so beautiful so the actual weight has never been my main priority. But I would be lying if I didn't love seeing the scale go down because it sure does feel good. That brings up the subject of fat acceptance and I do want to write about that but that is a post all on its own.

So until next time - Say goodbye to fat and hello to fit!

So I am going to run...

Yikes, I am going to be a runner. I have been reading other blogs this morning and kept seeing all this talk about C25K. I was wondering what the heck are these people talking about. So, I looked it up and found the Couch to 5K training schedule to begin being a runner. I looked up 5Ks in my home area and there is one on Sat. Aug 28 and I am going to register.

Nobody else, except for my husband, knows that I have secretly wanted to become a runner and I dream of one day running a half-marathon. I think the Biggest Loser is what inspired this in me. I can remember back in school at PE I absolutely hated to run. I used to walk it with my friends and gossip the entire time. When I was in 4th grade I got bronchitis really bad and was then diagnosed with asthma and had an inhaler. When that happened I got a note from the Dr excusing me from running in PE so all I ever did was walk.

I have now been working out for a few months on my Gazelle (an air glider) and I can go 3 miles in 36 mins, well so far that is my best time. I think that running at the park is going to be way different but I am up for the challenge. And I really do think that I can do it, no better yet I know that I can!

If Michael on the Biggest Loser can run non-stop for 5 miles and he is still at way over 350 pounds then I know that being at 237 pounds is no excuse. So today is the day that I start. It is cloudy out but so far isn't raining today so I am going to the park in just a little while for my first run. Jeremiah said he can't believe that I am going to do it in public, run that is. He said he knows how self conscious I am and just did not think I would do it. He is right when he refers to the old me but this is now the new Lisa and I am no longer that girl. I can see a change in myself that takes me by surprise but that I am oh so glad has happened.

Jeremiah did call me from work just a little while ago and said he was sorry for being mean this morning. I did not think he was really being mean, but I do want him to see how much I have really changed and not to keep thinking of me like I was. In the message he said he is so proud of me and to have a great run today. And I just realized that I did need to hear it! I am not going to be ashamed that I need support and encouragement right now.

I will let you know later how the run goes.

Blogs New Name

As you can see I changed the name of my blog today. When I started this blog I couldn't really think of a title so I just went pretty generic. As I have started reading other blogs I have been so jealous of the cute and funny names of the blogs out there. Some of the names I would have loved to have stolen but instead this new title just came to me. I think it is a little better than just Trying to get Healthy. I have a good sense of humor and like to think of myself as witty so I really wanted something a little more original. What do you think?

Changes

I can't believe how time has just been flying by. It has already been way over a month since I really started my new way of life. And let's see I think at least 2 months of exercising now on a consistent basis. I went to the Dr. on April 13 and I was down to 237! I had really been hoping to bee at 234 but I wasn't too far off and I am so proud of what I have accomplished this far. I can say right now that I am at the lowest weight that my husband has ever seen me and we have been together for over 6 years.

The Dr. was so excited and asked me what in the world happened. I told him it is the Adipex. He told me it isn't just that. He said that he has had tons of patients gone on it and not lose a thing. I told him that one day I just woke up and knew that I wanted a change. I was ready and I could just feel it, you know? I don't know if anyone else has experienced this but for me it is like a huge light came on and I just got it, as Oprah says an "Ahh- ha moment." I feel so different and I can't even really explain it. I think is where someone has to get before they can really change. And I do not just mean with weight. I also mean with a drug addiction, a gambling problem, or any other vice. You have to finally really truly want to change, otherwise it just is not going to happen. Or even if you do change it is just short lived and then you fall off the wagon.

I believe I mentioned before that I had to get some new jeans and ended up in a size 20, down from a 24. Well, now the size 20 are getting too big. Luckily I have 30 days to exchange them because it has just been 2 weeks and I already need an 18. I hope that doesn't sound terrible, returning them like that, but darn it I can't just keep buying brand new jeans every 2 weeks! That is the reason I only bought one pair. Jeremiah had wanted me to buy a couple of pairs but I told him then that I am losing so quick it would be pointless. I am giving all my old clothes to Jeremiah's son's mom (in other words Jeremiah's ex-girlfriend). Do you think that is weird? I know she needs clothes and doesn't have a lot of money to buy anything. And a small part of me is very proud that I do not need the clothes anymore and that I am smaller than her. I know very petty of me and I shouldn't feel that way but I do. She is at least as big as I was, I am sure she was in a 3X top and who knows about pants. She said she would take anything that I can give her and if it doesn't fit she will pass it on to her friends. I have clothes going all the way up to size 30.
As a matter of fact when I was at the Dr. one of the things he brought up was how it wasn't long ago that I weighed 276, then I had gotten down to 260 and then almost to 2450 but then I shot back up to 267 and then started this diet out at 254. So I do have a wide range of clothing sizes. I used to have tons of stuff in the 18-20 range as well but a few years ago I gave up and didn't think I would ever get back down to that size and got rid of everything I had. I was sick of keeping up with so many clothes that I could not wear anymore.

On Friday night Jeremiah and I went grocery shopping. So far all I had been eating was Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, and Smart Ones tv dinners. Well this week I decided to just a few of those and mainly get "real" food. So this will be an interesting week.
I bought some apples, tangerines, lettuce, tomatoes, yogurt, whole wheat pita pockets, flat ones (low calorie italian flavor), smoked turkey and smoked chicken sandwich meant, turkey legs (Jeremiah is going to grill them out), a very small steak for me and a bigger steak for Jeremiah (also going to grill them out), chicken breasts (italian flavor), tilapia, pork chops, steamed veggie bags for the microwave (we got corn; green beans; medley with garlic, carrots, and broccoli; and a medley with snap peas, potatoes, and red peppers), some light chocolate soy milk, Fiber One cereal (raisin honey crunch), and some Fiber One granola bars in chocolate peanut butter. I liked the chocolate and oat bars better and will get those again next time. Jeremiah also bought him some string cheese, cupcakes, twizzlers, skittles, snack-size drumsticks, baked beans, ramen noodles, and pizza.

I cooked dinner Sat night and it was pretty darn good. I baked the chicken breasts and fixed the corn. Then I sliced up 2 apples, sprinkled them with cinnamon and sugar and baked at 250 degrees for an hour until crisp. They turned out really yummy and satisfied my sweet tooth. I don't crave sweets very often but I had read about fixing these apple crisps in this months Shape magazine and I had to try them. Jeremiah even said he liked them. So, one night of cooking down and the rest of the week to go. I am not much of a cook so this big for me. Jeremiah is normally the cook in our household. Well at least he will be grilling out the turkey legs and steak.

I have also started the 7-Day Bootcamp from sparkpeople.com. So far it is going well and I will write more on that later. I really like the sparkpeople website and it has tons of great tips, free workout videos, and ways to track everything all for free! You can not beat that.