That is why sometimes I may post about something but then a few posts later be talking about something that totally contradicts what I said before. I am an ever changing woman. I know there are a lot of women out there that change their minds a lot but for me it happens constantly even with little things. I have been trying to be positive about this and tell myself it is just that I am always thinking and evolving and that it is a good thing to continually be growing. Whatever eases the mind right?
I had been thinking about my indecisiveness a lot this past week and then this weekend it came up again when I was reading and commenting on blogs. I was reading my favorite blog Escape from Obesity about how a calorie is not always just a calorie. I know what Lynn means about eating healthy. I do care, well now I do, about what I put in my body. I do not want to just lose weight, I want to be healthy. But then as I read the comments to her post someone mentioned the website 344 Pounds and how this guy Tyler has lost over 140 pounds by just counting calories. He frequently eats "bad food" like pizza, cheeseburgers, fries, etc., but it is all within is calorie limit. He does not want to eat nothing but good for you food all the time because he said it is not realistic for him. And I do see his point as well. I have always believed that losing weight comes down to one thing calories in vs. calories out. It really is that simple.
But just because you can lose weight by eating only 1200 calories, or whatever your limit is, of junk food does not mean that you will be healthy. That is why there are many, many, many people out there that are skinny but are not healthy. But my thought is why knock someone for what they choose to do. So what if you eat junk but only in moderation. Maybe that is your only vice whereas other people smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. Like I said in one of my comments on Tyler's page, nobody can be perfect. And where does everyone come off thinking that everyone has to be so damn healthy all the time. I am being serious here. If you exercise and eat in moderation, and lose weight and then maintain that weight, why is it so important to then force even more healthy talk and plans on them. I think that in the weight loss world we sometimes get a little obsessed with all the health talk.
There is always so much talk about losing weight to get healthy, eating better for your health, exercising for your health, take this supplement it is better, no wait a minute research shows we were wrong you should take this instead, sleep is the most important thing, eat low carbs, eat low fat, no no that isn't right some fat is good for you and they add more salt for flavor so low fat foods are not so good for you. Ughhhh, it goes on and on. I have been told that if you are losing weight just to look good then you are losing weight for the wrong reason because you will never be happy. That instead you need to lose weight just to get healthy.
Well of course I want to be healthy and to feel good. But honestly one of the reasons (and yes it is a big reason) I want to lose weight is to look good. I want to feel sexy, desirable, and look like a complete hottie. I think if most of us are honest then that is what we want. Let's face it, we live in a very vain society and looks play an important role. I do want to be pretty and to have guys jealous of my husband because he has such a beautiful wife. Is that petty of me, yes, but it is the truth. I have never been one of those women who have guys stare and hit on me. I am happily married but it would still be nice to get hit on! My husband tells me everyday that I am beautiful and I know that he means it. He really does think that I am beautiful and I do think that I am pretty. I am not happy with my weight right now but I do still think that I am pretty. My husband worries that I will lose all of this weight and leave him. That would never happen because even though I would like to get attention from other men in the way of come ons and such, I would never ever cheat or leave him. For one I know that Jeremiah loves me for me and not just what I look like. I would never know going forward if that person loves me, the real me and entire package, or if they just like the wrapping.
I think a lot of all the healthy talk is just to be politically correct. In many circles it has become very "in" to be health conscious, just like it is cool to now be "going green". A lot of it is a marketing scheme set by companies that just want to make a quick buck. But we all buy into it.
Another thing that I was thinking about that really ticks me off is how whenever you hear stories from someone who has lost weight you hear about how terrible life was before, how unhappy they were, how they could not walk up one single flight of stairs, etc. This is especially true on my favorite show The Biggest Loser. The people on there talk about their past selves like they were horrible people who had the plague. Yes I do want to lose weight and get to the point that I feel better and have more energy. But I am not unhappy and nor do I hate my life. I can walk up stairs and have not had a problem doing so even at my heaviest weight. I could go places like the mall, or even to the Texas State Fair, and walk around all day. Sure I had to take some breaks but I could still do it. Is it easier now? Yes when we went to the Dallas zoo a few weeks ago I had no problems walking four hours at a time and really didn't even need to take a break except for when we ate a quick lunch. I do have more energy now and know that as I continue to lose I will get even more. But still my life has not been as bad as some would like you to think it is at over 250 pounds. I guess once you lose the weight and there is such drastic changes in yourself and you can suddenly see how great you feel that you start to think there is no way I was ever happy back when I weighed so much.
There are times when I think some of the comments from people who have lost a lot of weight are very insulting to those who still have weight to lose. I know that the people who have lost the weight do not mean any harm and are only proud of themselves and looking at how far they have come. But many times the way they talk makes it sound like being fat is the most horrible thing in the entire world. Yes it sucks and nobody wants to stay like this but it is not the worse thing in the world. Many overweight people live very productive, loving, and fun filled lives. Am I the only one that feels this way?
On The Biggest Loser as the season progresses we hear comments about how they used to wear a size 22/24 and had to, gasp, shop in a plus-size store. Oh the horrors. Now of course I can not wait until I can shop in the "normal" section but my point is it is not as bad as it seems, at least not to me. I have good days and I have bad days when it comes to shopping. I love clothes and always have and I do own a lot of outfits that I just love to death and will be sad when they do not fit anymore. In fact I am going to be mourning some of my favorites. It is very strange to be so happy to lose the weight but at the same time be sad that some of my favorite clothes do not fit anymore. It doesn't even make much sense to me. I should be happy that I get to go out and buy new stuff.
Then there are several of the contestants this season who have told us they haven't ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend in their entire life. That really bugged me because I think it feeds into the stereotype that fat people are never going to meet someone and get married. Well guess what, fat people fall in love and get married all the time. Just because you are overweight does not mean that you will never date or find someone to love. Of course it makes things harder in the dating world but it is not impossible. I am not saying that these people should lie or that they have not suffered being alone and that sucks big time, I guess I just hate that it is true for them. Just like I hate it when anytime Texas is portrayed it is all about cattle, country music, cowboy hats, trucks, boots, and good old boys. There are some people about that here in Texas but the majority of people I know are not like that at all. Jeremiah hates country music with a passion and I must say most of the guys that I have dated and hung out with have had the same feeling. I like some country music, now that is more poppy than country, but growing up I hated country music too. I have never ridden a horse and have never owned a pair of cowboy boots in my life. I am not a country girl at all, I am all city. People I have met here that have just moved from somewhere else, always comment on how they expected something completely different. Texas, at least North Texas where I live, is just like any other normal place in the US.
Ok, I will step off from my soap box now. Enough bitching for one day. These were just a few thoughts that have been bugging me lately. So those are my thoughts for today, but who knows how I will feel tomorrow. What are you thinking today?