Total Weight Loss

Monday, May 10, 2010

Calories, Health, and my insanity

Most of the time I feel like a walking contradiction. I don't know if it is because my birthday is on a cusp and because I am lean more to the Libra side of me than the Virgo side but I have a hard time making decisions and I always see both sides of everything. One day I might think one way but then the next I am thinking in a whole new way. It must drive people who know me crazy because it drives me nuts too.

That is why sometimes I may post about something but then a few posts later be talking about something that totally contradicts what I said before. I am an ever changing woman. I know there are a lot of women out there that change their minds a lot but for me it happens constantly even with little things. I have been trying to be positive about this and tell myself it is just that I am always thinking and evolving and that it is a good thing to continually be growing. Whatever eases the mind right?

I had been thinking about my indecisiveness a lot this past week and then this weekend it came up again when I was reading and commenting on blogs. I was reading my favorite blog Escape from Obesity about how a calorie is not always just a calorie. I know what Lynn means about eating healthy. I do care, well now I do, about what I put in my body. I do not want to just lose weight, I want to be healthy. But then as I read the comments to her post someone mentioned the website 344 Pounds and how this guy Tyler has lost over 140 pounds by just counting calories. He frequently eats "bad food" like pizza, cheeseburgers, fries, etc., but it is all within is calorie limit. He does not want to eat nothing but good for you food all the time because he said it is not realistic for him. And I do see his point as well. I have always believed that losing weight comes down to one thing calories in vs. calories out. It really is that simple.

But just because you can lose weight by eating only 1200 calories, or whatever your limit is, of junk food does not mean that you will be healthy. That is why there are many, many, many people out there that are skinny but are not healthy. But my thought is why knock someone for what they choose to do. So what if you eat junk but only in moderation. Maybe that is your only vice whereas other people smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. Like I said in one of my comments on Tyler's page, nobody can be perfect. And where does everyone come off thinking that everyone has to be so damn healthy all the time. I am being serious here. If you exercise and eat in moderation, and lose weight and then maintain that weight, why is it so important to then force even more healthy talk and plans on them. I think that in the weight loss world we sometimes get a little obsessed with all the health talk.

There is always so much talk about losing weight to get healthy, eating better for your health, exercising for your health, take this supplement it is better, no wait a minute research shows we were wrong you should take this instead, sleep is the most important thing, eat low carbs, eat low fat, no no that isn't right some fat is good for you and they add more salt for flavor so low fat foods are not so good for you. Ughhhh, it goes on and on. I have been told that if you are losing weight just to look good then you are losing weight for the wrong reason because you will never be happy. That instead you need to lose weight just to get healthy.

Well of course I want to be healthy and to feel good. But honestly one of the reasons (and yes it is a big reason) I want to lose weight is to look good. I want to feel sexy, desirable, and look like a complete hottie. I think if most of us are honest then that is what we want. Let's face it, we live in a very vain society and looks play an important role. I do want to be pretty and to have guys jealous of my husband because he has such a beautiful wife. Is that petty of me, yes, but it is the truth. I have never been one of those women who have guys stare and hit on me. I am happily married but it would still be nice to get hit on! My husband tells me everyday that I am beautiful and I know that he means it. He really does think that I am beautiful and I do think that I am pretty. I am not happy with my weight right now but I do still think that I am pretty. My husband worries that I will lose all of this weight and leave him. That would never happen because even though I would like to get attention from other men in the way of come ons and such, I would never ever cheat or leave him. For one I know that Jeremiah loves me for me and not just what I look like. I would never know going forward if that person loves me, the real me and entire package, or if they just like the wrapping.

I think a lot of all the healthy talk is just to be politically correct. In many circles it has become very "in" to be health conscious, just like it is cool to now be "going green". A lot of it is a marketing scheme set by companies that just want to make a quick buck. But we all buy into it.

Another thing that I was thinking about that really ticks me off is how whenever you hear stories from someone who has lost weight you hear about how terrible life was before, how unhappy they were, how they could not walk up one single flight of stairs, etc. This is especially true on my favorite show The Biggest Loser. The people on there talk about their past selves like they were horrible people who had the plague. Yes I do want to lose weight and get to the point that I feel better and have more energy. But I am not unhappy and nor do I hate my life. I can walk up stairs and have not had a problem doing so even at my heaviest weight. I could go places like the mall, or even to the Texas State Fair, and walk around all day. Sure I had to take some breaks but I could still do it. Is it easier now? Yes when we went to the Dallas zoo a few weeks ago I had no problems walking four hours at a time and really didn't even need to take a break except for when we ate a quick lunch. I do have more energy now and know that as I continue to lose I will get even more. But still my life has not been as bad as some would like you to think it is at over 250 pounds. I guess once you lose the weight and there is such drastic changes in yourself and you can suddenly see how great you feel that you start to think there is no way I was ever happy back when I weighed so much.

There are times when I think some of the comments from people who have lost a lot of weight are very insulting to those who still have weight to lose. I know that the people who have lost the weight do not mean any harm and are only proud of themselves and looking at how far they have come. But many times the way they talk makes it sound like being fat is the most horrible thing in the entire world. Yes it sucks and nobody wants to stay like this but it is not the worse thing in the world. Many overweight people live very productive, loving, and fun filled lives. Am I the only one that feels this way?

On The Biggest Loser as the season progresses we hear comments about how they used to wear a size 22/24 and had to, gasp, shop in a plus-size store. Oh the horrors. Now of course I can not wait until I can shop in the "normal" section but my point is it is not as bad as it seems, at least not to me. I have good days and I have bad days when it comes to shopping. I love clothes and always have and I do own a lot of outfits that I just love to death and will be sad when they do not fit anymore. In fact I am going to be mourning some of my favorites. It is very strange to be so happy to lose the weight but at the same time be sad that some of my favorite clothes do not fit anymore. It doesn't even make much sense to me. I should be happy that I get to go out and buy new stuff.

Then there are several of the contestants this season who have told us they haven't ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend in their entire life. That really bugged me because I think it feeds into the stereotype that fat people are never going to meet someone and get married. Well guess what, fat people fall in love and get married all the time. Just because you are overweight does not mean that you will never date or find someone to love. Of course it makes things harder in the dating world but it is not impossible. I am not saying that these people should lie or that they have not suffered being alone and that sucks big time, I guess I just hate that it is true for them. Just like I hate it when anytime Texas is portrayed it is all about cattle, country music, cowboy hats, trucks, boots, and good old boys. There are some people about that here in Texas but the majority of people I know are not like that at all. Jeremiah hates country music with a passion and I must say most of the guys that I have dated and hung out with have had the same feeling. I like some country music, now that is more poppy than country, but growing up I hated country music too. I have never ridden a horse and have never owned a pair of cowboy boots in my life. I am not a country girl at all, I am all city. People I have met here that have just moved from somewhere else, always comment on how they expected something completely different. Texas, at least North Texas where I live, is just like any other normal place in the US.

Ok, I will step off from my soap box now. Enough bitching for one day. These were just a few thoughts that have been bugging me lately. So those are my thoughts for today, but who knows how I will feel tomorrow. What are you thinking today?


  1. I can understand. When I was younger I wanted to lose weight to look good. Health issues really didn't concern me even though my cholesterol was high back then. I wanted to be smoking hot. The end. I personally think the focus is lately on health because so much of our population is made up of baby boomers. Those of us who are over 45. I don't really care about looking hot anymore. When I lose weight I'm going to be freakin' wrinkled but I still want to be thin. I'm already mostly healthy. My blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc is good. But I have the beginnings of arthritis. If I don't get active and stay active now I'm going to be in deep poo in 10 years. I can't do the things I want to do because I get out of breath so fast. That's a fitness/health issue. A lot of boomers are also seeing their parents not able to care for themselves now because they didn't really take care of themselves before. And that responsibility is falling on us to take care of them. So I think for a lot of people (over 40 especially) weight loss is more about quality of life than it is about looking good.
    Then there's the "experts" that tell you to look for a reason that has long term goals. Looks can be fleeting and usually don't last. When you start to get crows feet will gain all your weight back because you don't look hot anymore?
    Everyone needs their own reasons. I have mine.You have yours. They have theirs. I am not going to invalidate your reasons for losing weight because they do not match my reasons for losing weight. This is a personal battle we fight. And your right.. it's calories in vs calories out. But not every calorie is created equal and while I want to use that formula to create a better me, I want to use it with the healthiest choices possible.
    You will decide what you want to do. How you want to do it. Sit down with the pros and cons and there is absolutely no reason you can't mix a little bit of junk food in with your wholesome food plans if that what you want.
    You've got my support no matter what you do.

  2. Your post rings so true.

    I too have thought those same thoughts.

    And I'm about to start watching the biggest loser US too, my hubby has got it for me online. The Aussie one just finished.

  3. Deb you have very valid points. I think you are very right that part of the focus on health is due to the baby boomers. Trust me that losing weight just to look hot is not my only reason for losing weight. I know that looks are fleeting and can be gone in an instant. What I was meaning in my post is that I do think a lot people lose weight for looks in mind. I know that is not the politically thing to say out loud but I do think it is true. I mean look how much on the blogs, when someone posts their picture, how everyone comments how great they look now. Looks are just a part of life and unfortunately we are judged on them whether we like it or not.
    But I too want to feel better. I have fibromyalgia and already the weight that I have lost has helped. My mother has diabetes and I do not want that to happen to me. She used to be somewhat overweight, wore around a size 14-16 but now she has lost down to a size 8. But she is still diabetic. I know that if I had not started losing weight then I was headed down that road. So health does matter to me, a lot.

    I just don't think everything is always so cut and dry and that there are many things to consider when weight, health, and even looks are involved. I was just opening the discussion and I love what all you brought up.

    My ultimate goal is to be very fit. I do not want to just be thin, I want to have definition and be toned. I want to be very active and athletic, something I have never been. This is a whole new world to me and so far I am enjoying it.

    Thanks so much for your support and for taking the time to come read my long posts!

  4. Congratulations on adopting a realistic understanding of what successful weight loss is really all about or at least should be... The health benefits really do make a difference.
    I am a 40 something guy who lost 70 pounds and made some huge strides in health. For example, my sleep apnea is gone! No more sleeping with a machine. My blood pressure is 120/68. My cholesterol is fine - and I am a horrible eater. All of my knee and ankle joint pain is gone, I never get sick anymore - knock on wood.

    My methods are simple (easy for me to say) - burn more than I eat. I mixed in some better foods, though I didn't do anything stupid and give up everything I liked. And I took up walking.
    is a great place to learn about the benefits of walking and its something anyone can do anywhere, anytime.
    Considering that I am a basic Meat & Potatoes, semi-lazy kind of guy, its proof positive that you can lose weight without going to extremes, if you can just make a lifestyle change that works for you! Good luck on your quest.